using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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