I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
