Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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