Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
