I love black thongs
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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