the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
