I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
