I want to stick my p in your. b.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
