Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
