I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I love you. Go after that dick
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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