he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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