Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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