I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
