Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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