last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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