you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
