Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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