If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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