No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize