if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
