No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
