put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i think i have two assholes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
