Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize