is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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