She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
