Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize