can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
