brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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