But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
