I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
