plz talk dirty to me
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We have started to decorate penises.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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