I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
