Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
