and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize