i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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