he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize