It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
