if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
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