How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
