so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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