I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize