I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
