what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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