dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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