Define "chronic" masturbator.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
