he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
