For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
