i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
What drink are we having for lunch?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
