i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
