So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
