Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
