is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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