come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize