I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize