Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Panties = found
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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