so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
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