Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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